Who Are the Mommy Police? The MOMMY POLICE are anyone…friends, family, even strangers on the street, who tell you how to parent and judge you if your choices differ from their own. honestbaby believes that when it comes to parenting, there are NO ANSWERS.  Barring established safety precautions, like the use of car seats and not drinking poison, everyone is just guessing.  Speaking with physicians, educating ourselves through books, and sharing personal experiences will no doubt elicit helpful advice. But when it comes down to it, the truth is, there is no “right” way to raise a child.  No matter where we turn, there will always be the inescapable MOMMY POLICE, judging us; pushing their views and making us doubt our instincts.  Moms are the easiest prey in the world because deep down we still believe in the myth of perfect parenting. We need to be wary of people making us feel badly about our parenting choices.  We need to learn to identify and dismiss the MOMMY POLICE. Inappropriate Comments by tiredmom Why do people think it’s okay to comment on your parenting whenever they choose? If it’s cold outside, people have told me that the babies need a blanket or a hat, or they should have mittens on… If it’s hot outside, strangers point out that the babies need shade, a hat, sunscreen… One woman told me that I shouldn’t even be outside with them! I’ve had people comment on my stroller being too big, and the babies being too old for pacifiers. I don’t invite these comments but people, it seems, have lots of opinions about child rearing.....Read More honestbaby moment by JBo Had an honest baby moment over the weekend. My husband is black, and this woman came up to me and said to my baby who was in her carrier. “look at you, your so tan, mommy must not be putting sunscreen on you.” I said “she’s not tan, she’s black.” Then of course I had to judge myself by thinking, by calling this an honest baby moment am I comparing being black to walking or talking late. Why do we do this to ourselves? Comment On This Story

Mommy Police in the Hospital!
By Maxsmom

I had my first baby 5 weeks ago. I’m still kind of in shock about the whole thing but having lots of friends with babies had me prepared. As prepared as I could be. I felt strongly about breastfeeding and everything was going okay in the hospital, the baby was sucking fine and getting the colostrum. But on day three my milk had still not come in. The baby was very irritable. He cried and cried and it seemed to me that he was HUNGRY. My sister, who has three children and successfully breastfed all of them told me to supplement with a bottle of formula until my milk came in. When I suggested this to my nurse she balked. I was given a speech about my commitment to breastfeeding and how nipple confusion could ruin the whole thing. Apparently this is when the baby prefers the bottle to it’s mother’s breast. I was scared senseless and let the baby cry. Finally when I got home my sister convinced me to give him a bottle. He calmed down immediately!!! My milk didn’t come in for 2 more days. I gave him formula until it did. I continued to breastfeed after giving the bottle. The minute my milk came in, I stopped giving the formula and he was fine. He just needed a little something to keep him satiated until my milk came. I can’t believe I was starving him. It’s great to breastfeed and I plan to do it for a long time. I resent though, people telling me untruths and scaring me. You should always go with your instincts. I never thought my first encounter with the Mommy Police would be in the hospital!!!

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Types of Mommy Police

The MOMMY POLICE have caught many a mother off guard and we parents have had to come up with some pretty creative answers to silence them.  Hopefully, this list will help to identify the MOMMY POLICE that exist in your life and help soften the blow next time you’re hit unexpectedly.

Competitive Moms:

They look like your friends or your playgroup buddies but they are really insecure about their own parenting and so dig into your parenting style any chance they can get.  Often their wording and tone is so subtle that you’re not even sure that you’ve been hit.  Most likely found at children’s gym classes and on the playground.

Non-thinkers:

They don’t realize that their words can hurt and make you doubt your parenting skills.  They usually don’t think before they speak.  Which isn’t surprising because in the parenting forum, sensitivity is the first thing to go out the window.  Most likely found in your own home.  Usually a family member.

Meanies: 

These people are out to get you.  They are miserable in their own lives and either don’t like children or don’t like you.  Beware because they can do the most damage.  Most likely found in restaurants and airplanes.

Know-it-alls:

They may be parents or they may not but they are sure that they are the authority on everything about children.  They are the first to tell you when you are doing something wrong and quick to give the “right” answer.  Beware-these types are everywhere.

Repeaters: 

These people love to read parenting “facts” and spew them out any chance they get.  Just because you read it in a book doesn’t mean it’s true.  There are tons of so-called parenting “experts” who deem themselves the go to for a particular subject.  We’re not talking about sound medical advice because we all know that any issue that is questionable should be directed to a doctor.  We’re referring to everyone else who comes up with a parenting choice and expects everyone to adhere to it.  Most likely found in your office or at a Gymboree class.

Out-of-touchers:

The word old-fashioned comes to mind.  These people are still touting the theories from decades ago.  “You need to put cornstarch on that babies butt” or “If you pick up that baby too much she will be spoiled.”  It’s easy to see these Mommy Police for what they are because their advice is so out of whack with everything else you’ve learned.  But be wary.  It’s easy to be fooled by older and seemingly wiser people.  Most likely found at weddings or at the supermarket.  Very often a mother-in-law.

Silent but deadly:

These Mommy Police never say a thing.  They don’t have to.  Their glares and gaping mouths say it all.  They disapprove, but thankfully don’t have the balls to tell you.  Most likely found on airplanes or at the mall.

Hopefully this brief guide to the MOMMY POLICE will help you identify them and dismiss them.  Remember, trust your instincts and don’t let anyone make you feel like a bad parent.